I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
