She's JV to your varsity
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
