my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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