If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
