very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
You took a bar mat shot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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