so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
