i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
