i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
only you would photoshop your dick
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I touched a dick in church today
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize