Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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