The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
