Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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