I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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