Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
