Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Randomize
