I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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