vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
