mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
