waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
