whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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