whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i think my tv is drunk
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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