what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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