Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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