It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
