The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
How's work?
Spinning.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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