He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
