so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
