thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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