I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
