Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
