i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
