Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
