did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
