So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
