i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
