So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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