You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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