What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
