My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
tell me about the fingering
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