You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
