How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
