It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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