awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
