Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize