maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
