He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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