Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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