We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Please don't give away my fajitas
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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