My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
You made out with two different species that night
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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