New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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