it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
we should paint friendship bongs
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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