I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
