First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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