I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we're making bets on your personal life
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
You are a genius and a whore.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
