i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I would fuck him just for his dog
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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