Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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