My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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