somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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