Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
