Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
