Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
