Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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