when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
